I ran into my friend M, this morning, at the “French Bakery”. “I think I need some help”, she told me. “How can I help?” I asked her, when she was putting her younger son in the stroller, getting ready to go grocery shopping. “I think I need some help with organizations. I just cannot even get to write my resume, not to mention other things, and I am forgetful too. How do you do it? How did you do it all these years, with four boys?”
I smiled at her, and hardly kept my eyes dry. The reasons for that are multiple. I will try and explain. You see, I raised four boys (and still have two living at hope, thank God for that). I am also a published Author, but what Martha never knew was that I have learning disabilities. I have ADHD and some kind of Dyslexia. I am very forgetful, and not so organized myself, and every day was and still is a struggle with that. She did not know how many times I skipped meetings, how many times I wrote only a few lines and how many years it took me to write each book, because I am forgetful, unorganized and tends to day dream instead of doing what I really love doing, which is write. She never knew how many times I forgot to pick up my boys from school or other activities, even last Friday, I forgot to pick up my youngest from Basketball, just because Basketball just started, and was not inside my brain routine yet. My son called to ask if I forgot him, and did not realize how much those words were so painful to me.
I looked and M and said: “you know? I have learning disabilities too…I managed to do it all but look, I am still making mistakes, things don’t always work well, but I have the best suggestion to you, something I use to. I have this real smart phoneJ, and it is very smart. Every night sit down for a few minutes and organize the following day. Put times and assignments, and put the remainder buzz on, so it will remind you what you need to do at a specific time. Without my phone I am totally lost, I am forgetful and I never get to what I really would like to do.”
What I did not tell her, because I was forgetful, was that it is important to keep my space organized. I get lost with a mess, so my house is always tidy and clean, just because of this. So I can function. Us, women, have so many chores, and things we are dealing with every single day, if we are happy and content our families are happy and content, so don’t ever forget to put in your day, every day, something you really love doing, and even for just a short time, just to make sure there is “a you time” in all this endless giving”. It is the same for men who are the main caregiver. Every caregiver should do this, so they feel they are not getting all lost in all this “giving to others circle”. And one very important this too. Every day stop for a minute and think about all these thing you are thankful for, and give a big hug to someone, even yourself.
May peace and happiness will always fulfill your days.