Cancer – A rude word


We are all familiar with the word “cancer”. I too am very much familiar with this word. I lost my dad to lung cancer three years ago, my mom is sick with skin cancer (not deadly, thank God), a few of my girlfriends had cancer and healed, and a very special and close friend is quite sick with cancer. This extremely rude word is chilling. It has a scary sound and a feeling of death. When someone even hears about a person that got sick in this way, their heart skips a beat. I admit that I react the same way; this disease scares me so much. Just the thought that there are cells wandering around someone’s body without any control, doing whatever damage they want is so tough.

Two weeks ago I noticed a lump under my chin. I went to see the doctor and he sent me to an ultrasound test. I am usually an optimistic person, but I get nervous around any kind of tests…As I lay there, I noticed that the technician took extra time looking around my thyroid; he then said I will need a biopsy, since he noticed something that looked suspicious. To my question what he really saw, he answered, that he could not give me any more information, I would have to do the biopsy. The level of pressure went up, I was so nervous, and the next day I had a biopsy. The answer came three days later, and those days were some of the longest days in my life. I could not sleep; thoughts and thoughts just came like a splash of freezing water. At the end of this long wait I got the results that were not so surprising, it is indeed thyroid cancer.

Me? I thought? Am I the one to get sick with cancer? How can it be? Although I thought I was prepared for this, it was a big shock. It was not close, it was me this time, and just thinking of this can get someone out of their mind. I am writing all this, totally exposing everything I went through, and no, I am not afraid to do so, I am a writer, an Author, this is what I do, I write, and I know I need all the support I can get, also the support I can get through my devoted readers.

The first thought that came to my mind, after I stopped crying, was how lucky I am that it is me who is sick, and not anyone of me loved ones. The second thought I had was that I want to be able to raise my kids. Later I had such a roller-coaster of thoughts with deep sinking (downs) and slow climbing (ups…), and at the end of each journey, that each of it lasts for only a few minutes, you are left without air, totally exhausted – I had too many roller-coasters for the last two weeks.

 I have seen doctors, checked it in depth, this kind of Cancer is not deadly, thank God, and it is neither a gift on the other hand… There is a need to remove the thyroid in full; maybe another minor treatment to complete the whole thing, and then, the doctors promises, I can go back to my regular routine. I have already promised my kids and husband I will be as good as new at no time, all I have to do is just pass over this “little” bridge, and then I can go back to prepare my third boy`s Bar Mitzvah, which will take place by the end of March. I can go back to the real busy fulfilling life I have.

I would like to take with me a few things from this problematic situation: I am not alone with this: I have people around me who love and care about me. This is really helpful getting all the love I get these days…Another important thing to remember is that life is a great gift: we need to enjoy, cherish and appreciate what we have every single day, since nothing is obvious. And third, you have make a lemonade out of this sour lemon, and this is what I intend to do: I am going to take this “life experience”, which came without any warning, and make the best out of it. I know that I am strong, and am already encouraged even  just by this thought, and actually a few days of rest won`t harm, I will catch up on some reading, watch a few movies, and just get spoiled…

I wish all of you good health and a fantastic happy day!

Love, Revital

Advertisements

About Revital Shiri-Horowitz

Author DAUGHTERS OF IRAQ, and HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON (English and Hebrew versions) novels @ immigrant experience to Israel. Experienced speaker to Jewish communities, bk audiences. Luvs her 4 sons/hubby/Havana Silk dogs http://revital-sh.com/
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Cancer – A rude word

  1. Alexa says:

    love you אמא

  2. I lost my dad 17 years ago, to colon cancer. It had spread to the liver. Treatments were not successful, for any of a half-dozen reasons.

    In January, I was hospitalized with breathing problems. They ordered a CT. They found “Suspicious spots.” They wanted a biopsy; i declined.
    I had read about it, and deemed it too risky.

    They suggested a PET scan. Unfortunately, this uses the “contrast”, and I cannot tolerate it.

    I had an appointment with a local doctor — wanted some medicines refilled so I could manage my COPD. But why did I need to go through a complete physical for that?

    Without my approval or knowledge, the doctor “arranged” 5 appointments. When calls were made to “Confirm” them, I turned them down. One test I had less than a year ago. They tried to arrange a PSA test, Urologist, Colonoscopy, Radiology, hearing…

    I’ve turned them all down — Partially, and only partially for lack of money and lack of insurance.

    Do I care about my health? To an extent. To I have a death wish? Maybe. But I don’t see it. I’ve had 52 years. What happens, happens.

    No, I don’t have a death wish. But I am not afraid to meet my maker, if He deems it time. I am at peace with my decision. My DOCTORS, on the other hand, are not. I will be writing a medical directive. The orders will likely be simple. It may extend so far as to be DNR. That choice has yet to be determined. But I lean that way.

    Sorry for the ramble. The point is this: Do what YOU believe is best. Don’t blindly follow “doctor’s orders.” Instead, place your trust in the Great Physician.

  3. Lea says:

    You can, and you will will beat that cancer. You’ll be here a long time to share stories with us. 🙂

    You are in my heart.

  4. Ey Wade says:

    Stay positive and think nothing but happy thoughts. You will be fine. Been there done that. You’ll be amazed how well you’ ll feel afterwards. That little sucker can cause a mirad of issues.

  5. jackie says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about this new journey you’re on. Even when we know cancer is not life threatening, it is terribly scary. I had my own incident years ago. The blessing here is that it is treatable, but you are and will be in my prayers for a quick recovery.

    Blessings, girlfriend.
    xoJackie

  6. jenhaugland says:

    Dear Revital,

    I am so sorry to hear this, but thankful it is treatable for you. Remain strong. And when you feel weak, lean on your God who is clothed in strength and can carry you. I am thankful you have the Bar Mitzvah to keep your focus moving forward and the love of your husband and children (even a sweet dog to cuddle with).

    Love,

    Jen

  7. Amy says:

    Thinking of you so much Revital and so appreciate your sharing this news so that I can send you lots of support and hold you close. So looking forward to the Bar Mitzvah – if you need any help with the details please let me know – I’m an old pro now ;-).

    Love,
    Amy

  8. dennis says:

    Revital: this couldn’t have been that easy to write. You have a ton of courage.

    You are blessed with a warm and loving family. And you have an incredibly positive attitude. You are a huge inspiration to me!

    Irina and I are wishing you the best of health as you get your thyroid taken care of.

    Dennis

  9. Julie Aronowitz says:

    Hi Revital,
    Just heard the news and saw your blog (pretty nice blog). We are sending you all our love and good vibes and we are sure with your positive thoughts and the love and support off all the people around you ( close and far) , your recovery will be fast and smooth. Please let us knowvif we can help in any way. And keep writing on your blog so we can follow you.
    See you soon in Israel :),
    Lots of love,
    Julie, David Tania and Ethan Aronowitz

  10. Marina says:

    Hi Revital, sorry to hear about what you have to through. You will be just fine and everything will go back to usual after you recover. I wish you a quick and easy recovery. If you need any help with Yotam just let me know. Take care of yourself and speeding recovery, love Marina

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s