We are all familiar with the word “cancer”. I too am very much familiar with this word. I lost my dad to lung cancer three years ago, my mom is sick with skin cancer (not deadly, thank God), a few of my girlfriends had cancer and healed, and a very special and close friend is quite sick with cancer. This extremely rude word is chilling. It has a scary sound and a feeling of death. When someone even hears about a person that got sick in this way, their heart skips a beat. I admit that I react the same way; this disease scares me so much. Just the thought that there are cells wandering around someone’s body without any control, doing whatever damage they want is so tough.
Two weeks ago I noticed a lump under my chin. I went to see the doctor and he sent me to an ultrasound test. I am usually an optimistic person, but I get nervous around any kind of tests…As I lay there, I noticed that the technician took extra time looking around my thyroid; he then said I will need a biopsy, since he noticed something that looked suspicious. To my question what he really saw, he answered, that he could not give me any more information, I would have to do the biopsy. The level of pressure went up, I was so nervous, and the next day I had a biopsy. The answer came three days later, and those days were some of the longest days in my life. I could not sleep; thoughts and thoughts just came like a splash of freezing water. At the end of this long wait I got the results that were not so surprising, it is indeed thyroid cancer.
Me? I thought? Am I the one to get sick with cancer? How can it be? Although I thought I was prepared for this, it was a big shock. It was not close, it was me this time, and just thinking of this can get someone out of their mind. I am writing all this, totally exposing everything I went through, and no, I am not afraid to do so, I am a writer, an Author, this is what I do, I write, and I know I need all the support I can get, also the support I can get through my devoted readers.
The first thought that came to my mind, after I stopped crying, was how lucky I am that it is me who is sick, and not anyone of me loved ones. The second thought I had was that I want to be able to raise my kids. Later I had such a roller-coaster of thoughts with deep sinking (downs) and slow climbing (ups…), and at the end of each journey, that each of it lasts for only a few minutes, you are left without air, totally exhausted – I had too many roller-coasters for the last two weeks.
I have seen doctors, checked it in depth, this kind of Cancer is not deadly, thank God, and it is neither a gift on the other hand… There is a need to remove the thyroid in full; maybe another minor treatment to complete the whole thing, and then, the doctors promises, I can go back to my regular routine. I have already promised my kids and husband I will be as good as new at no time, all I have to do is just pass over this “little” bridge, and then I can go back to prepare my third boy`s Bar Mitzvah, which will take place by the end of March. I can go back to the real busy fulfilling life I have.
I would like to take with me a few things from this problematic situation: I am not alone with this: I have people around me who love and care about me. This is really helpful getting all the love I get these days…Another important thing to remember is that life is a great gift: we need to enjoy, cherish and appreciate what we have every single day, since nothing is obvious. And third, you have make a lemonade out of this sour lemon, and this is what I intend to do: I am going to take this “life experience”, which came without any warning, and make the best out of it. I know that I am strong, and am already encouraged even just by this thought, and actually a few days of rest won`t harm, I will catch up on some reading, watch a few movies, and just get spoiled…
I wish all of you good health and a fantastic happy day!