After almost three weeks in the US, I went back home to Tel-Aviv, where my family is. I had a great time at the US with family and friends, and all the people who came to my lectures and bought my book. It was a first time for me leaving my family for such a long time, and I admit, I was a little worried that I might get lonely or even bored. Instead I found out a new thing about myself I did not know existed.
I enjoyed my “alone” time and treasured it. I loved the sound of silence, especially when I woke in the mornings. I enjoyed meeting friends, managing my time without thinking of anyone else but me. I was even so excited I was able to go to the mall in the evenings, at times that I usually spent at home with my kids. I just had fun!
I used to be afraid to sleep alone for many years, even when I had my kids with me. I remember asking one of our friends — a male, who was single — if he was willing to come and spent the nights in our guest room when my husband traveled. I remember people gossiped about it, but I did not care much, all I wanted was a good night sleep without fear…
God, I was young. I have no idea when exactly I stopped fearing to sleep alone. I just remember I had fought it for many years, since my husband used to travel a lot. I think it began after I gave it a thought and decided to try to just stop fearing. I know it makes no sense, but that decision made a big impact on how I really felt.
I am wondering if I am alone here, or is any other women feeling this way like me?
I’ve never lived by myself. I moved from my parent’s house to a rented apartment that I shared with my boyfriend, who later became my husband. I actually did not experience life by myself.
So for the very first time at age 46 I found myself home alone and actually liked it. I am not sure I would have liked it for a longer period of time, since I did miss my husband and kids very much, but I felt like I have grown, and I was proud of myself.
It wasn’t that obvious to me that I could do this — sleeping alone in a house, driving five hours south, and then north, crossing the Canadian border by myself, giving four lectures all over the West Coast. I am so happy I was able to do that without any fear and enjoy every single minute of it.
I am so blessed, thank god, having people who love me and care about me. In every location I traveled, I had people who love me, and who I love come to my lectures with me, help carry the heavy books, help with the sales, and support me emotionally. I am grateful and thankful to all of them, and especially to my best friend who stayed with our kids and encouraged me to take time for myself and enjoy the fruits of my work.
Be blessed where ever you are. We grow a little every day. And please do not forget to be thankful for what you have. Every day is a unique day that would not be back, so just try to enjoy and be happy.
Love to all, Revital